She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
