You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love you. Go after that dick
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