that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
