You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
