It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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