I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
