Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
