ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize