I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize