even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize