All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
