I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
