Me too!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize