Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
