Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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