Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
