But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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