so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We had sex on a dog bed..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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