I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
