If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
