So drunk its hurt
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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