We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize