You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
