i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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