Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
