It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
