Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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