Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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