I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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