What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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