i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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