He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize