do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
