I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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