grandma shit on top of the toilet
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
