As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize