We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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