Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I wear drunk well.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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