Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
