She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
