I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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