I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
