I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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