if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
