on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
