Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she pinky promised me she was 18
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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