Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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