I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize