You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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