And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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