Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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