New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
