I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize