sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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