did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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