Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
