Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
