And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
